I have been too in my own head these past few days. On a daily basis I go back and forth between going back to Texas or staying here in Lima another week or two. My question is this: what difference would it really make? Here I am starting to feel anxious and too in my own head, sometimes rather lonely…every now and then even scared….like who would take care of me if something happened? Who can I cry to that’s strong enough to be there for me? Back home I felt crazy b/c I wanted to get away from Dallas and the stagnancy I felt there. Is this really a matter of choosing between two painful ideas? And why am I deciding that either has to be painful? Going to Dallas doesn’t mean staying there.
I really need to make a decision before I lose my marbles. I’ve felt ill since Saturday/Sunday and it’s not letting up yet. It could be anything from stress to food to mold to God knows what. I just want to be free from this…all the pain and uncertainty.