3 weeks ago I calmly sat down with my boss and put in my two weeks notice. It wasn’t out of bitterness or irrationality. I didn’t have anything else lined up, nor have I secured anything as of yet. I think that what it really is, is my true expatriate nature, calling me, no, begging me to “sail away from the harbor.”
As irresponsible as it may seem, and truly is, to quit my job and then go to China 7 weeks later, there is, at least in part, a plan. A plan to regroup, reorganize my thoughts, and honestly…to find myself somewhere else, because that’s often where I leave myself and my heart….somewhere else. Foreign lands suit me well. I am somehow comfortable being out of place, taller than everyone else, with “another world” look written on my face. China is one of those places I have never written on any bucket list, which makes it feel a little off-limits to me, a little bit of a dare. Risky enough to undertake. Maybe irresponsible is risky’s lazy little unambitious sister….
Deep down inside, I think everybody harbors a secret desire to escape, to RUN for the hills, and not just because times are temporarily tough, but because life often feels like a prison when it becomes mind-numbingly monotonous. Sitting in the same traffic, hearing the same songs on the radio, thinking that trying chicken fried chicken from some new chain is living on the edge, reciting and recycling the list of things and people we’ve lost, waiting for a replacement, fed up with our jobs, getting smartphone headaches. We learn to tolerate it. We learn, after years, to give up the giant dreams and go for the smaller ones that we are sure to attain. We learn, in time, to settle.
I guess the real reason I am undertaking this new adventure is because I refuse to let my life become stagnant. I refuse to be another causality in suburbia. I refuse to be so comfortable in life that it slips away from me. It’s vital to me to see the other side, to discover, to embark…
“Now more than ever do I realize that I will never be content with a sedentary life, that I will always be haunted by thoughts of a sun-drenched elsewhere.” ― Isabelle Eberhardt